i love you sunshine.
life wouldn't be worth living without you in it sometimes.

sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy.
:]

i miss you.
only 28 days.

i think that i should get my license before christmas break.
maybe my parents would let me come see you?

I was at a show and some psychadelic hippy band was playing
and these crazy hippy girls were in front of me and they started dancing like crazy people
and when they lifted up their arms they had HAIRYASFUCK armpits
I'm talking like Elmo was living in their pits
and I got scared and I yelled OH MY GOD
And one turned toward me to look and I almost got pitt'd in the face.

oh man XD

But I decided not to c/p it on here for you. I don't think that it's important and I think that it would just make us both feel worse about the predicament we're in.

I just want to tell you that I miss you and I love you so, so much.
And that comment where you said "That's me! I'm sunshine!" is the cutest thing I've ever read and it makes my day every day.

You instill a feeling of happiness in me that I can't even fathom sometimes. It's so hard to articulate what I want to say, but pretty much to sum it all up you're the best person in my life and I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes. You give me so much to look forward to, if you realize it or not.

my aunt is the only person that called me on my birthday. Michelle texted me, and Alexis texted me. Abby remembered, and Shirley remembered, and both of them told me at school. So thanks guys.

But people who I thought were my really, really close friends, didn't even acknowledge it until I was like hey, it's my birthday. Meg, the girl that I was basically dating 2 months ago until she went on vacation, didn't even fucking call me.

I'm so fucking tired of not getting what I deserve. I do so much for people, I dedicate myself to making people feel good, but when it comes to myself, not so much. I'm fucking lonely and taken for granted. I feel so used. Nobody does me any god damn favors and I'm so sick of it. I loan people money, I buy people things. I give people great advice and watch them lead amazing lives as a result of my doings, but what the fuck do I have? I have absolutely nothing and absolutely nobody that has my back. I'm not at the top of anyone's list and it makes me fucking sick because everyone is at the top of my list.

But not anymore. Fuck people.

Michelle, I love you. Aunt Shelly, I love you.

I guess that's it.

thanks for remembering, everyone who remembered. my parents took me out to Puerto's, my least favorite place. XD

i miss you a lot Michelle. more than you know.

ugh bad day today. =[

tomorrow is my birthday.
don't be a bitchass, i wanna have a good day.

I'm so disappointed in the US relay team. Dropped the baton in both the men's and women's events. that's such a letdown.

You are my sunshine
my only sunshine.
You make me happyyyyy
when skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear
how much I love you.
Please don't take
my sunshineeee
awayyyyyy.

=]

was not a good night.

i had a long weekend and i didn't get to talk to anyone. i had a lot of time to myself, i did some reading and some work for school etc. thought about a lot of things.

i miss you so much and i realized that things are already starting to die down again. i don't want that to happen. before this week i was so happy because you were a huge part of my life again. everything was good, even outside of my home life. school was good. idk you just make everything good for me. i don't want that to go away.

what happened? did i do something? can i fix it?

oh lawd
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
happy.

school in 5 minutes. the first day of my senior year.
and I can't stop thinking about you.

I can't believe I'm actually going to do this.

Tomorrow.

I think that this is making me sick.

Happens every time. -_-

99% of what I see when I come on the internet is bullshit fucking trash. Nobody has a sense of realism anymore. IF YOU ARE 15-16 YEARS OLD, GROW THE FUCK UP AND STOP ACTING LIKE YOU'RE STILL IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Please start preparing for the fucking real world, I don't want my generation to be known as "Generation X" forever, and I sure as hell don't want my generation to be known as the generation that ended the world, but that's not looking so hot every time I see one of you fucking assholes that don't give a shit about what happens 5 years from now. Don't get me wrong, I advocate living life to the fullest, but not when it's detrimental to me or the rest of the people that associate themselves with you. Stop being selfish little kids. I can't tell you enough how imperative it is that you realize that we have it good compared to what our parents had and we're doing so much worse than them it's fucking off the chart. 75% of us are obese, for christ's sake. Something like 20% of us CAN'T EVEN READ. Are you serious? This is why your parents are alcoholics and beat the shit out of you, because you are fucking stupid wastes of oxygen and resources. And what the hell is this No Child Left Behind act? This 'Nicklebee' act basically states that stupid ass kids can pass school so their self esteem doesn't get fucked up and they're encouraged to succeed in places other than schools like...auto repair shops. We make fun of people like this yet we voted one into office and gave him the power to create thousands more just like him, no, worse off than him...hmm. Michelle, I'm beginning to see why you dislike Dubaya so much.  We need to stop giving people reasons to be lazy and fucking retarded. Parents need to start smacking their kids when their kids are assholes. I got spanked when I was a kid..hell, my dad got punched in the mouth when he was a dick and my mom got kicked out when she was 15 and they're two of the best people I've ever known. My mom didn't even go to college and she tought a college class. My dad...my dad reads 4 Louis L'Amour books a day on average (granted they're only about 200 pages) and is basically a walking encyclopedia. They both strived to succeed when they were kids because they had to to survive and not get the shit kicked out of them when they got home. People like that built this country to be the most feared, most powerful country in the world with enough resources that we could give shit to countries that were worse off than us without even thinking about it, and now people are laughing at us. It's such a shame that in our lifetimes we will see the United States fall from grace to countries like China and India, shit that people couldn't even dream of in the 50's and 60's. We complain all the time about our government and the situations that this country has itself in but guess what, citizens, YOU PUT THE PEOPLE TO REPRESENT US WHERE THEY ARE. Good job. Why don't you stop complaining and start acting on shit? It's pathetic how lazy people in this country are. Like a good friend of mine said, if more people our age would just vote, VOTE, that's make a check mark in a box on a piece of paper and then drop that piece of paper into a ballot box, this country would see monstrous changes.

I have so much shit I need to get off of my chest and nobody that I can tell it to without it coming back to bite me in the face. Do you know how fucking frustrating this is? FUCK.

I keep having this nightmare where I'm trapped in the basement of like a 1700's pilgrim home with a bunch of kids and the owners of the home and their little girl are upstairs and every 5 minutes or so the parents open the door, the little girl points at one of us, the parents get the kid and then they take him/her upstairs and murder him/her. All the while I'm trying to figure a way out of this place and when I finally get out, it's snowing and I get disoriented because everything is pitch-white and I get caught and killed.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MEAN? I've been trying to figure it out for like 2 months. I can't stop having it, I have it almost every day and It's beginning to freak me out.

That's not even the tip of the iceberg.

Wow, a real blog. 

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FUCKK.